POST 16: Part Of Your Life

I’ve been on the sidelines of life long enough and I’m done. This is my life and I’m set on living it. I am going to put myself out there to be a part of peoples lives again. Perhaps I’ve began to drown my self in a pool of self pity or perhaps I’m lost, in either case it’s not ideal and it would be more productive to find my way out of either case rather than do nothing.

I promise myself to follow my heart and put myself out into the open.

I promise myself to not back down when I’m scared of some part of life.

I promise myself to help my friends and family no matter the condition.

I promise to never neglect my relationships.

POST 15: My Mistake

Why is it I never get it until later, like way later. Often I check out from my conscious mind and don’t know where I go. I forget to do something or forget to do something and it snowballs into something so much bigger. A girl that I had such great chemistry with and I killed it because I forgot how to feel, I forgot what feelings looked like. What is love with no emotion? I’m sure I’ve royally messed it up. Sometimes I feel like just bitching but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. I want people to talk to me about it but I don’t want to bring it up, I don’t want to pity myself when it really would have been wise to talk it out.

Why is it that I feel the best when I’m just talking with someone? Its like were talking about what really matters and my mind knows it.

I find it hard for me to say things like “I missed you”, to give hugs, to flirt, or even to show interest in anyone. Is it a lack of confidence, or am I afraid to feel?

This is starting to weigh on me, I am tired of feeling so alone and burnt out but I don’t know what to change, where to go, or who to talk to.

 

How do you tell someone you felt a coldness in their heart that wasn’t their before?