I am genuinely interested in the people around me, if I know someone is having a bad day I go out of my way to make it a little bit better. The sad truth now is that my body is tired, my mind is worn out, and I am lost. I believe there is a God and have faith I have a part in his plan. I'm just so sick of nothingness, I've forgotten how to have fun, am terrible with connecting with people and generally don't feel like I get much out of my days anymore. A man cannot survive like this. Am I not grateful for what I have already? I cherish my family, find comfort in nature, and enjoy my friendships but something is missing. I feel as if I am supposed to be ready for something, but I've felt this way for so long it's made me feel compulsive. I know I won't miss it as long as I live in faith but a part of me is afraid I one day might. I just pray that my heart finds peace soon and that my heart is no longer hard. I want to feel again, to breathe life and give joy but for now I'm running on empty with no one giving me the fuel I need. Find it in your heart to believe in me, to pray for some sort of peace in my life. I know there is beauty out their but I no longer want to just hear about it, I want to see it with my own eyes.
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